expy

[psifi872]

I love my macdoc fics, loved writing them, love the characters. BUT. I’m a Christian. I believe in obeying God, even when, especially when, it goes against my own ideas/inclinations.

The Bible has strong things to say against homosexual relationships. By modern standards, most people would call me homophobic.

I disagree. Homosexuals are human, valuable, and should be treated with dignity and respect. That’s my firm belief. Things like conversion therapy and all the other abuses are evil. They’re sins and NOT in keeping with how Christians are ordered to treat other humans. Now, a lot of you may argue that the Bible doesn’t condemn homosexual relationships and I don’t know. I used to agree, but some of the language is pretty clear, particularly in Paul’s letters. And here’s the thing and this is where people are going to get mad (more mad?) at me:

I care more about God’s view on things, than I do yours, than I do mine. I value you, I love you, but God decides what is right and what is wrong. I’m trying to get close to God and that means obeying him. I can’t call Him my Lord and my God, then disregard his Word. So, as a Christian, I can’t promote and dabble in what He says to avoid. Even if modern theory is correct and homosexual relationships and my stories are innocent, I would rather make a willing sacrifice, a permanent fast if you will, of something innocent, than risk standing in opposition to God.

He means that much to me and I submit myself to His authority.

Mac and Murdoc both being male was never what made me like them as a pairing. What drew me to them is their personalities and the way they interact together. I love redemption stories and enemies to friends/lovers/families. I love stories where love conquers and extinguishes hate. That’s why I wrote those stories.

I’m sorry, if anyone is hurt by all of this. I don’t want to hurt anyone or be hurt, either. But, this is where I am.

Comments

[palpablenotion]

I am a queer Christian that focused my studies on the ancient Mediterranean to better understand the context of the Bible as I struggled with my faith and finally admitting I wasn't straight. It took me at least 12 years to be able to admit I wasn't straight, 12 years of suffering that I know God didn't want for me. I was sent stronger and stronger influences to help me be able to overcome that hurdle and my faith became stronger afterwards.

I have zero intention of nor interest in shaming you nor in pretending to know everything. But I think God led me back to your profile (quite randomly at that, I haven't read MacDoc in over a year) less than 12 hours after you posted this (edit: almost a full day now, forgive me, I'm ill and fell asleep, I thought I lost everything I had written here too).

I don't check this site often but there are many platforms I do use. In a show of good faith, excuse the pun, I'll even chat through Facebook if that's preferred.

If you're willing to listen, I'd like to share some of what I've learned studying the Era our Lord walked the earth and what got literally lost in translation.

This isn't to sway your opinion. Merely information most Christians never know. Things like there being 5 genders in the books of Moses (and Abraham's and Sarah's pronouns changing when their names did).

You can of course PM me here and I'll do my best to keep up. I'm only out on Tumblr, but in a private message I can share any other social media that we can talk through.

I really think I was meant to reach out to you. I'm literally 80k words into one of my favorite fic on ao3, 80k out of 220k. The was no reason to go look for a new fic to read, I was happy with what I was reading.

And I'm not going to ask, pressure, or suggest you change your fic back. First, they're yours. Second, I'm with you on the dynamic part for MacDoc. Third, it is your prerogative to do whatever you want with your own fic.

I hope we can talk. If nothing else, I followed what I believe to have been God's prodding and reached out. I have a hard time hearing God the way other's describe, but I'm autistic and that was a gift from God and makes my mind work differently (and yes I believe that, my autism is not something I suffer from, I suffer people's treatment of me). So God's Voice is heard differently for me.

Too many details, sorry. I really do hope to hear from you.

[psifi872]

Hello! I hope you didn't write this a long time ago. I just received the notification today.

Thank you, for showing such wonderful respect. I appreciate it a great deal. I don't know, if I want to talk about this, further. I think that is something I need to take time and pray about. Honestly, I'm not comfortable, because your proof seems to come from a bunch of extrabiblical sources and I don't trust those.

Honestly, a large part of me hopes you're right. There are a number of lgbtq+ that I dearly love. That makes me distrust myself. I'm not saying to shut a door on you, but let you understand where I am at on this.

I don't know, if God led you to me or not or what His purpose might be, if He did. I do wish you well and hope God blesses you.

[palpablenotion]

I understand the reticence and I won't push. I just wish to point out that the studies I dedicated myself to were for my own understanding because understanding cultural surroundings helped me understand the sacred texts. The things such as the 5 genders? That comes from sacred texts pre translation. There's a whole deal about Sodom and Gomorrah (never mentions homosexuality or anything like that, the closest to sexual it comes is neighbors wishing to rape Lot's guests, who were angels), the male lover of a Roman soldier in the New Testament, and contextualizing Paul's anti sexual writing (Corinth had the most famous temple of Aphrodite which was also a HUGE brothel, thus the letters to Corinth).

The historical studies were just to understand the setting.

But like I said, I will not push. I will only leave you with the reminder than Jesus did not want us to judge others (examine the plank in your own eye before the specj in your brother's, forgive me I don't remember the citation) and the 2nd greatest commandment was to love all people (you neighbor = any person) as you would yourself. So love your queer friends and don't be concerned that God will be angered by showing love. Unconditional love is second only to sacrificial love.

Be comforted in knowing that, at least. And know that sometimes God speaks to some in conviction. If you can't get over moving in this direction, it's for a reason. If you were pressured by peers or spiritual leaders to turn from slash, even if you pressured yourself, know that that doesn't have to happen with the real people you love.

This is a personal relationship you have, the most personal you'll ever have. It isn't my place to tell you how you should conduct it. But I am here should you wish to talk.